You may think this is some weird cooking recipe blog all about adding lavender to things (and quite honestly, you need to try yourself a lavender scone but that’s besides the point), but it isn’t. The saying may be outdated, but aren’t a lot of things these days? If you haven’t heard of the saying, it went something a little bit like this: ‘he contains a dash of lavender’
This term was used to describe someone who was…well effeminate and gay. A little bit along the lines of ‘confirmed bachelor’ because they’d never marry. Again, outdated but it’s all in the same vein. To me, I like the scent of lavender, I always grow it in any garden I happen to have, my hair is currently coloured the same shade of it, and y’know, it helps keeps those bees buzzing! But I am well aware that some people are reminded of their grandmas and lavender isn’t the nicest of smells for them.
Whether you like it or not though, if you’re a gay man, you contain a dash of it, even if you’re #masc4masc – learn to embrace it.
In recent months, I have found myself immersing myself in the politics of being gay, and also feminism and everything to do with the underdogs of society, because let’s face it, we are; and we all know the underdogs eventually rise to the top. Some may say I have jumped on the bandwagon as a knee jerk reaction to Trump – but I’m not American – and possibly stupid things like Brexit – because I am British – but it’s not that. It’s about becoming aware of things.
I was perhaps closed off to the notions of being persecuted because of who I am because I’m 6’3″, I’m broad and realistically, only effeminate in the company of friends or when I’m very, very drunk. Would I be able to handle myself? I have done before, so why should I be worried? Well because not everyone is afforded that same luxury. Not everyone can stand up for themselves, and not everyone can avoid being berated by strangers.
When you really examine things though, the picture is bigger, and grander than just one person. It’s more than the mainstream media. It is global, and it’s on the rise, as long as there are certain things that are understood: we are equals, we are the underdogs much like people of colour and women. Together we rise, divided we fall, and that’s where I am coming from.
I am a feminist gay man, here to fight the fight, share my views and try and change the world with a blog and my life. So add that dash of lavender and find that it gives you courage. And let’s go.